Partners’ readiness

I was free. This was a fresh gulp of air for me. Like a bird, I fluttered out of a cage riddled with misunderstandings.

I now had the chance to find my other half – the person who would accept me as I am, who wouldn’t try to refashion me, the person I would want to have a child with.

***

I am writing this book with all honesty and I don’t want to sweeten the things that you will go through over these 9 months. That’s why before going there, it’s better for you to become conscious of what you will encounter, one way or another.

Your whole life and all your relationships will change forever from that very minute. Things will not be as they were before but something that wasn’t there earlier will come into your life. And who comes depends on you…

It will be better for me to write what may await you during your pregnancy and after childbirth at the start of the book rather than at the end.

***

Before conceiving from a man, it’s important for a woman to understand what awaits her further down the line. Because for a man, however good a person he may seem at first glance, the birth of a baby is a serious test. It’s a test for both partners of course. But a woman is better adapted from the start; she is programmed by nature. She carries the baby 9 months under her heart and then breast feeds it. While she is pregnant she gets used to being with the baby 24 hours a day and feeling it inside her. The baby acts through her constantly. Its hunger is her hunger, its needs are her needs. And finally, when the baby comes into the world she is morally ready to interact with it.

Now and then a man sees his woman’s growing belly, and even when the baby is born, he can’t immediately grasp the meaning of: “Wow! I’ve become a father!” And not only become a father but taken on a new, huge responsibility which requires effort daily, hourly and on a minute-by-minute basis. A woman’s task here is not only to perceive all that is happening, but also to share this with her man. A new life has come to Earth, a life carrying his genes filled with his blood.

Unfortunately many fathers only understand this when their child is 5 – 10 years old. Sometimes realization comes too late. Many marriages collapse in particular after children are born. It’s too difficult… the man wants love, attention, and now there’s this little creature…

Hormones play with a woman’s body and can sorely test both partners’ nerves. During pregnancy a woman can become capricious, feel repulsion towards her partner, and heap a whole load of other surprises on the future father’s shoulders. What’s to be done? She’s pregnant and the only thing that remains for the man to do is to resign himself: “Ok, I’ll bear it for 9 months”. After birth the story doesn’t come to an end. The most interesting period begins… We’ll get to that a bit later on…

Conception

How can I explain conception? How can I find fitting words to describe the miracle that is bestowed on us? The Divine touch, a moment of Truth, Fusion of two different beings, a gift of Love. An almost inexplicable magic that takes place in our lives and changes them forever.

This is the main moment in a child’s life. It is this moment that defines the child’s future; whether she will be energetic, healthy, happy or…

Conception is like a code for a program. After the start button is pushed the program begins to be carried out and we will be mere observers of its realization. The smallest of details play a role here; how, when and with whom conception takes place affects the chain of events which will unfold.