That’s how I came upon the next crossroads in my life. It was time to decide how I should live and which way I should choose. Should I decline my former life and everything I managed to create and establish to save myself? Should I move to another place and start my personal story from scratch? Or should I come back to what it was and, possibly, lose a part of my inner world?

Thinking about that difficult choice, I remembered my Teacher. He said that everything around us is love, and there is no white or black in the world. There is no division into darkness and light, good and bad, there are just many different energies seen by our mind. Therefore, it’s not about others and their “imperfection”. The reason was inside me: I didn’t understand something about the world, surrounding me. And everything will change as soon as I manage to love the outer space as much as my inner world.

So, I decided to stay in this world, to come back to active social life and people, simultaneously saving myself – as I was by that moment. However, staying among people was difficult and even painful. There was no love in society, everybody used each other. I still couldn’t understand the meaning of some actions people did, and they, consequently, didn’t understand me, didn’t share my values.

Moreover, I started noticing how fast my mind was getting littered. As soon as I spoke with a person filled with anxiety, anger, or annoyance, their inner chaos seemed to become a part of me…

Anyways, the decision was taken, and I needed to learn to live a new way. What’s more, I was well-prepared for that – the practices proved beneficial. As everyone else brushes their teeth in the morning, I was cleansing my mind and body on daily basis. I increased the number and length of practices, meditated a lot, became more careful about food. Once in December I lived through ten days’ fast on water, and next 10 days I only consumed some natural juices. Gradually, my relationships with others started changing. I found some like-minded people, who shared my values and lived the same way as me.

Those, the closest ones, still couldn’t understand me or my lifestyle. Me and my wife continued moving apart. Even though we lived together physically, mentally we were becoming aliens, strangers. Once I got a feeling that whatever I do, there’s no way to avoid divorce. We were too different now. She wasn’t interested in what I was living by, and I didn’t understand her wishes, choices and values.

That’s how I got into one of the main traps of my life: I saw my spiritual Ego, which wanted to change everyone. Yes, I managed to change my mind and my life afterwards. But it occurred that was not enough – I wanted to change the minds and lives of others, too! I wanted everyone to choose and love the same things I did. I wanted them to think like me, live like me, because that was right, wasn’t it?

THAT MOMENT I UNDERSTOOD HOW HUGE WAS THE GAP BETWEEN ME AND TRUE LOVE. HOW FAR I WAS FROM EVERYTHING I WAS HEADING TO FOR ALL THOSE YEARS. LOVE IS NOT EAGERNESS TO CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON TO MAKE HIM MORE CONVENIENT FOR YOU. LOVE IS ACCEPTING ANOTHER PERSON AS THEY ARE.

I got it that I had no right to change anybody. Everybody has their own unique way. Everything I have in my life has only one purpose: to change myself. That discovery was, presumably, the most important in my whole life. After going through another crisis, I entered the next level of my self-development. From that very moment, by the way, my family life and relationships with friends and colleagues started improving fast.