Reality set in. Maybe God was stronger in Oleg, because he was still in a supportive role in his trust of God. I, on the other hand, questioned, “How can a loving God do this to my baby? Is it a God I still want to love and believe in?”

“Olga, we need to accept God’s will,” Oleg tried to answer my questions. “People can be wrong. They can tell us things that hurt us. They can prophecise what may not come true, but God is God. We have to believe in Him. He is there. He is alive. He will help us.”

That day was difficult for both of us, but we ultimately decided to accept God’s will and move forward with our lives. We now had a son who would require vast amounts of our attention and care, and somehow, we would have to make accommodations within our and our children’s lives.

…….

6

You never realize how lucky you are with a healthy

child, until you have an ill child.

Our friends and relatives called us, worrying about me and my baby. But that day, I asked for visitors not to come because I couldn’t move, had lots of pain and needed rest. We appreciated our friends’ and relatives’ support. Even too many doctors and nurses kept coming in and out from my room.

When I had a moment, I called my Mother.

“Our baby has been born, but he is very ill,” I broke in tears while talking to Mom.

“Olga, please be strong. I feel your pain, my Daughter, and I wish I could help you, but what can I do? We will be praying. I know God has been healing other people. He will help. We will take care of your children. I will help you with meals. Tell Oleg to stop by any time. I will give him food to eat,” my Mother cried on the other end of the phone, while trying to ease my concerns.

Because of our son’s critical condition, I wasn’t able to breastfeed him or do the skin-to-skin contact. I knew this was important because in my job at WIC that was what I taught new mothers. I knew the skin-to-skin contact would enhance our son’s immune system. It would provide him better oxygenation, better heart rate and better temperature. He was all alone in an incubator, surrounded by wires, tubes and pumps with medications. I knew that the nurses were taking good care of him, but he was my baby and I was missing him. He and I were separated. Surprisingly, I was at peace. Oleg also felt at peace. He stayed with me that whole day and the next night.

…….

By the morning, the anesthesia was no longer affecting my body and the magnesium medication was stopped. The itching ended and, finally, I was able to sleep. I no longer felt dizzy and could walk with the nurse’s help. I was beginning to feel better and thanked God!

I received a phone call from my former co-worker, Kathy.

“Olga, I am coming to visit you!” she said.

At the same time, Oleg received a phone call from his cousin, Eddie.

“I am coming to visit you, brother.”

Eddie and Kathy arrived at about the same time, so Oleg spent time with Eddie and I spent time with Kathy. Kathy brought me two cards, one from her and one from my former co-worker Marge. I started reading them and the words from one of the cards made me cry. It said, “God knows everything you are going through and He will help you…”

Kathy comforted me. It was wonderful to have such friends, who worried about me and brought me cards that showed hope.

“Olga, I would like to see your baby,” Kathy said.

“I haven’t seen my baby myself,” I answered. “I felt so awful yesterday after the anesthesia and all medications, but I feel a lot better today. We can go see my baby together.”

“Walking that far would be impossible for me.”