For example, if a woman fantasizes about being beautiful, rich, having high social status, and being popular with men, her illusory dream will be to «own» a man of status and wealth who will fulfill all her desires, like a «goldfish». She believes that by uniting with this ideal self from her dreams, she will find inner full-value and become «happy». This woman will experience euphoria from receiving money, praise, attention, and sympathy, or even better, from falling in love with a high-status man. These experiences help her achieve a state of superiority, which her psyche labels as «happiness». What each person considers «happiness» depends on the ideal scenario of their life, i.e., their reference pattern.

In this example, «unhappiness» for the woman is labeled as rejection by a high-status person, loss of money, attention, or sympathy from someone who does not meet her status criteria, obvious loss in status and success to others, and aging. These experiences plunge her into vulnerability and distance her from her reference pattern. This is why there is often such an attachment to appearance – it is clear that a young and beautiful woman has more chances to attract the desired man, while an aging woman losing her beauty has fewer chances.

Both «happiness» and «unhappiness» are illusions. Everyone has their own illusion, their own idea of ideality, which defines what is considered «full-value» and felt as superiority and «happiness». At the other end of this axis is "inferiority," and everything that immerses one there is perceived as "unhappiness".

By understanding these states and what makes us feel euphoric or depressed, and therefore superior or vulnerable, we can recognize where the illusion lies and move out of it into reality. However, both euphoria and despondency can also be caused by something that exists in objective reality, making it difficult to discern whether what plunges us into these states is reality or illusion. A more sensitive criterion is the prick of envy. The person we envy possesses something we dream of, something that is part of our reference pattern, and we believe that by attaining it, we will become "happy".

If, after interacting with certain people, a person cannot regain their composure for a long time, they should consider the reasons for this state. It might be envy, indicating that "they have what I desire". However, it is important to understand that the component causing the jab of envy comes with its own past (chronic illnesses, losses, and hidden issues) and, most unpleasantly, unpredictable future problems. The immature personality wants to take from others only their dream, separating it from their reality. At the same time, when interacting with others who are «better» in some way, the individual tends to devalue everything they have, even though they may objectively have much more.

By tracing what leads to euphoria or despondency and by identifying the jabs of envy, we can realize our ouroboric illusory dream, our ouroboric inner full-value, our reference pattern, and our ouroboric inner inferiority. For example, an infantile owner of a new Mercedes-Benz may feel vulnerable if a Lamborghini owner lives nearby. This indicates that not only is "material welfare" built into their reference pattern, but to be happy, they must also "be better". When we learn to recognize that both ouroboric «happiness» and ouroboric «unhappiness» are components of the infantile personality structure, we can figure out how to break free from this cycle.