In adulthood, this reference pattern is either unachievable (such as unconditional love) or, if achievable, dysfunctional and ridiculous. Upon achieving it, one realizes that the embodied dream does not bring satisfaction. For example, if a woman grew up in a family with an aggressive man, she felt defenseless and now seeks the kind of protection a child needs. She will find such protection and end up with an overwhelming and controlling husband. Later, she will complain to a shrink or friends that he "deprives her of freedom" and "does not let her breathe," making it «unbearable». Nevertheless, the ouroboric psyche will continue to strive for this reference pattern, ignoring reality.

I once overheard a conversation between two intelligent-looking women. One said to the other, “I have to go get a manicure, because I've been walking like a scourge[2] for a week. This phrase encapsulates a lot – from the sense of inferiority due to the lack of a manicure to the use of slang as a demonstration of vulnerability (exporting vulnerability) and self-criticism for not meeting her own standards. It becomes clear that this woman has a detail called «Beauty» in her reference pattern, which was incorporated in childhood and includes an obligatory component of external grooming. Any inconsistency with this plunges her into vulnerability and self-criticism, manifesting as calling herself unpleasant names. Such a woman might tolerate being rude, incompetent, or hysterical, but she cannot tolerate not having a manicure.

As mentioned earlier, the core of the reference pattern is based on unmet childhood needs, but it is replenished, modernized, and adapted throughout life. Adaptation is generally understood positively as adjusting to current needs. However, in ouroboric reality, adaptation means maintaining the impracticability and dysfunctionality of the reference pattern by adding elements that cannot be realized in the person's current life conditions. For example, my friend, after having a daughter with autism, reformatted her reference pattern by adding a detail called "Healthy Child," which is obviously unattainable at the moment. Consequently, her internal inferiority and external vulnerability grew, and everything that did not match the new reference pattern – essentially her entire real life – was devalued.

If we compare a person's life path to a bumpy road with relatively smooth places and deep holes, then in the world of Ouroboros, this road is flooded with water, hiding the roughness from the person walking on it. This water represents illusion. Where there are holes in the road, indicating a lack of something, there is a lot of water-illusions. A person walking along this metaphorical road, flooded with illusions, does not see its roughness and can stumble on a bump or fall into a pit. A person who has passed the ouroboric stage and matured into an adult personality is devoid of illusions. They live in the real world and clearly see the road they are walking on: they see the bump that must be crossed and the pit that must be bypassed. Such a person can minimize troubles from the unevenness of the «road» and plan their life because they know where they are going and how to make the journey from point A to point B as comfortable and safe as possible.

I have already written that true authenticity, or full-value, is characteristic only of a psychologically mature person and is not available to an infantile one. A mature person knows exactly who they are and can rely on this knowledge in their daily life; they have no need to compare themselves with anyone, or if they do, it does not disrupt their inner equilibrium. The ouroboric personality, however, can only understand who they are by comparing themselves to others and determining if they are better or worse, or by comparing themselves to their own reference pattern and finding that they are always worse.