As you move in and out, immersing yourself in the experience and observing yourself in the experience, you begin to feel your self, which is present on both levels. When you recall an emotional experience, realize that you existed before, and remained after the complete exhaustion of emotional reactions. The " I " that observes your experience is always present; it notices how all thoughts, sensations, and feelings come and go.

The first step experience is how to be more than what bothers you.

Consider two ways of experiencing the same event.

For example: I gave my boss a monthly report, which he usually approves and praises. This time I'm called into his office, the door closes, and he irritably tells me that there's a major oversight in my report and it needs to be completely redone. I blush with surprise and embarrassment, beads of sweat stand out on my palms, and my stomach feels as if it has been hit with a club. I mumble an apology and feel embarrassed again. My breathing is shallow, my heart beats fast, and all I want to do is run away. I feel stupid and angry.