…….

One month was replaced by another and the time of my lay-off was getting closer. We made financial changes in our family. Unbelievably, our debt became smaller. We sold both cars, eliminating two big payments and bought cheaper cars. Saving every penny, we tried our hardest to pay off our credit cards. I stopped going shopping and sometimes even went to a food bank to get help with food. The year of lay-off notice gave us time to adjust to a lower income.

Surprisingly, a year and a half later, we were debt free, except the mortgage payment, which was still very high relative to our income. We sought a loan modification, which took about three years to be finalized. Looking back, we were amazed at how God had helped us. I stayed at home with David, Kristina, and Michael, who were 11, 10 and 6 years old. We were happy together and thanked God for blessing us.

…….

4

You never know what your real values are until you

are faced with difficult real-life choices.

We love children and were delighted to find out that I was pregnant with our fourth child. In the sixth week of the pregnancy I developed complications and went to see the doctor.

“Olga, the ultrasound shows two fetuses,” the doctor said. “But one is smaller and not developing, and the other one is bigger and growing. This creates a risk of miscarriage. I need to prescribe strict bed rest for you.”

“A miscarriage? Two babies? One is not developing?” A sense of dread descended over me like a shroud. Scared, I implored God to save our baby, if it was His will. A few weeks later, I felt better and one of the fetuses survived.

At four months of pregnancy I went for a second ultrasound.

“It is a BOY!” the nurse said.

Then she paused, seemed worried.

“Actually, let me go get the doctor,” she said. “There seems to be a problem here.”

The doctor came and very carefully examined the ultrasound images. The look of his face registered concern. I knew immediately, there were serious problems.

“Olga, when we do the ultrasound, we can see if the baby’s heart is healthy. If a baby has Downs Syndrome or Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, the heart looks different. I can see the left side of your baby’s heart is not developing. It means he has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, which is not good news.”

For a moment, I couldn’t speak. My heart started beating rapidly and my hands started shaking.

“What? Our baby has health problems?” tears filled my eyes.

“This is a very rare heart defect which occurs in only 1 of 2,500 births. Usually, with this syndrome, 50% of babies also have Downs Syndrome. Your baby has no chance for life once born,” the doctor explained.

“Is there anything you can do to fix this problem?” I asked shakely.

“Previously, these babies had been dying right after birth. But 30 years ago, the doctors began doing surgeries to correct such problems. Usually they do an open-heart surgery on the first day of the baby’s life. Then, another surgery at six months, and the third one at the age of three years. The recovery is very difficult and not many babies survive these surgeries,” the doctor answered with a sad tone.

I was devastated and shocked by the news and could not believe this was happening. Why had God allowed me to survive the risk of miscarriage, to let this happen to my child? I wasn’t sure if I would be able to handle this situation, but just because I thought this, it didn’t make the problems of my pregnancy go away. “What if I could not handle this situation emotionally or physically? What about our other children?” The questions raced through my mind. Then reality grabbed me. No matter how many questions I had, none of the answers would take away the harsh reality of this pregnancy.