Why the Brain "Enjoys" Submission

When you relinquish control and allow yourself to submit, your brain begins to function differently. This state, often viewed as weakness or loss of freedom, actually triggers complex neurochemical processes that bring a deep sense of calm and pleasure. Submission is not a defeat but a path to restoring inner balance, allowing the brain to reduce tension, activate areas responsible for trust and pleasure, and gain emotional clarity.

Biologically, it all starts with hormones. Oxytocin, the hormone of trust and closeness, plays a key role in this process. When you let go of control and allow someone else to take responsibility, the brain releases oxytocin, helping you feel safe. This hormone reduces the activity of the amygdala – the part of the brain that triggers anxiety responses. You no longer fear judgment or losing yourself. Instead, you feel anxiety recede, replaced by relaxation and acceptance.

This process is closely linked to dopamine – the hormone of reward. Submission is perceived by the brain as relief: you lift the burden of constant management, and the dopamine system rewards you with a sense of satisfaction. Research from the Journal of Neuroscience (2019) shows that dopamine levels increase by 20-25% when a person consciously assumes a submissive role, especially if it involves trust and mutual agreement. At the same time, cortisol levels – the stress hormone – drop by 30%, allowing the body and mind to recover.

But why does this happen? Constantly striving to keep everything under control is exhausting. The brain spends enormous energy analyzing, predicting, and dealing with uncertainties. When you release this load, the parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for relaxation and recovery, activates. You no longer expend resources fighting the world. Instead, you find a point of calm where you can simply be.

Submission also has deep evolutionary roots. In ancient communities, the ability to submit to more experienced or stronger members of the group helped ensure survival. This reduced the risk of conflicts, strengthened social bonds, and provided protection. These mechanisms are embedded in neural circuits, making submission not only an adaptive strategy but also a source of biological pleasure. The brain perceives submission as a way to reduce threat, enhancing feelings of safety and belonging.

In trusting relationships, this effect is amplified. When you consciously allow another person to take on the role of leader, you don’t lose yourself but instead enrich your emotional experience. Oxytocin helps you establish connection, and dopamine enhances the joy of releasing tension. Instead of fighting for control, you begin to delve into your feelings, becoming more open and receptive to the present moment.

Submission is not a rejection of freedom but a new aspect of it. It allows you to let go of the illusion of total control and trust the process. This state enhances your mindfulness, helping you better understand your desires, fears, and boundaries. You no longer expend energy battling the situation but find points of harmony within it.

This is why the brain "enjoys" submission. This state reduces stress levels, activates pleasure centers, and creates deep emotional connections – with yourself, another person, or a situation. It is not weakness but a way to release unnecessary burdens, restore strength, and feel part of something greater. In submission, there is no defeat, only freedom to be yourself.