Asking a divorced woman who is about 40 years old, I heard another “classic” answer to my question: "Where is the husband? I do not see the wedding ring? Where is he and how did you choose him, according to what criteria?".

The woman stared at me with round eyes and with a question in soaring intonation: “What? To make a choice? There are not plenty. It is necessary to take the first halfway normal!” There is a reasonable share in her words – it is not necessary to go over and dig in the grooms, but also to marry the “first comer”. To start living with him in a civil marriage is not the smartest choice also.

Therefore, it is good to choose in your youth, while there is someone to choose from, but do not delay the case after 35.

Those people, who are thinking and working on themselves with their life's «scratches» and «abrasions» from broken relationships live on, try, get acquainted on dating sites, where they polish their patience. Now they understand more. They know that quarrels, different views on the routine and obvious manifestations of selfishness are an absolutely normal part of a relationship. It is the same as brushing your teeth every day or cooking. Two always different people with different habits, character buildings and different everything else are getting used to each other. Here the sparks are as great as sharpness of the principles and character of each of them.

The wiser of the two becomes softer in order to preserve relationships and family. The wiser irons out the differences for the sake of love, “for both me and my love”. This can be called the greatest wisdom in family relationships. Love begins to warm up again. It heats up when a person with a promising set of characteristics is next to you. You cannot make anything with an indifferent egoist. He is cold to any gentleness. And you cannot forget about others who are shallow – hearted, those who do not know how to appreciate their relatives and live for them and do something for them.

In the development of such family wisdom the spouses are already thinking not about what he or she owes to the partner, but what he/ she can do for the other. As a rule, these are the most common actions, nothing special but the desire to do something for your beloved gives birth to love. The real desire turns into actions, it does not go astray in thoughts.

Just cover the sleeping spouse with a blanket, make no noise and let him sleep for another hour, vacuum instead of him, go to the dry cleaner, and turn on his favorite music, light a fragrant candle in the room. This is the peak of true love in terms of temperature and actions.

To give more than you get in return is the true expression of love. It is about clear and simple care. Giving your energy, time, and talents caring about your loved one every day – is true love. Receiving care and doing nothing in return, trying only to command, reproach, ridicule, suppress by knowledge of the topic or education in something, put ultimatums, using not “beautiful words” or yelling, live for yourself and your pleasures in marriage – this is hardly can be called ‘love’, this is selfishness with your own servant. What of this have you already seen in your life? What drives you wild?

Example:

“Honey, I love you very much!” When he sits every evening in front of the TV, and the wife first prepares food, then rushes and does in parallel, because there is not enough time in turn, washing dishes, ironing, washing the floors and the rest. At the same time, the husband can repeat more than once in the evening that he loves you, that he has a soft spot for you, that you are the best.