The right word at the right moment can make all the difference to a successful social encounter. Fortunately, there are two words in particular that will endear the visitor to Brits of all ranks and conditions. These most estimable of exclamations are “lovely” and “nice”, which can be approximately equal (in frequency of use) to American “really?” or “well”, while Russian tourists prefer “OK” (leaving the slang aside). All these words can express anything you want to put into them and emphasize it with your intonation: surprise, admiration, anger, approval, joy, grief, etc.

The English are not very ‘tactile’ or physically expressive. They perceive graceful gestures as a sign of theatricality (insincerity), femininity or a foreign origin. They rely on words, not given too much touching or gesticulating. Even handshakes used at business meetings worldwide lead to confusion. The “brash American” approach, “Hi, I’m Bill from Iowa,” particularly if accompanied by an outstretched hand and beaming smile, makes the English wince and cringe.

In American culture, in addition to its international function, a smile is a social sign of prosperity. The automatism of the American smile is so great that Hillary Clinton smiles at photographers even at Princess Diana’s funeral ceremony. Keep smiling is the motto of the American way of life: “whatever happens, smile.” At the same time, Americans find that at the initial stage of communication with strangers, Russian people are too sullen. “Russia scares me,” Muhammad Ali said, “people on buses look as serious as if they were going to have an electric chair.” Russian people may consider the constant American polite smile a manifestation of insincerity. That is why they do not smile in response to an accidental eye contact. Similarly, in England students are taught to keep face whatever happens, stay calm and not to make a fuss. The true Englishman faces doom and disaster with a stiff upper lip and does not bat an eyelid (the similar Russian proverb deals with a nose). “I get the impression,” said one frustrated American, “that at some fundamental level the English just don’t believe things could work properly, especially compared with America.” Americans expect good service and value for money – and if their expectations are not met, they get pissed off and sue somebody. English people mostly do not expect particularly good service or products, and when their pessimistic assumptions are confirmed, they say, “Huh! Typical!”

The English understatement is another trait that many foreigners find utterly bewildering (or, as the English would put it, ‘a bit confusing’). “I don’t get it,” said one exasperated tourist. ‘How the hell are you supposed to know when “not bad” means “absolutely brilliant” and when it just means “OK”?’ English humour (in comparison with American or Russian) is not cross culturally funny. Its real “defining characteristic” is the value English people put on humour in social interactions. In other cultures, there is ‘a time and a place’ to laugh. In English conversation, there is always an undercurrent of humour. Although the English may not have a monopoly on irony, they are acutely sensitive to the distinction between ‘serious’ and ‘solemn’. The tiniest sign that a speaker may be overdoing the intensity will be spotted and picked up on immediately, with scornful cries of “Oh, come off it!” To take a deliberately extreme example, the kind of hand-on-heart solemnity favoured by almost all-American politicians would never win a single vote in England. The same goes for the gushy speeches of American actors at awards ceremonies, to which English television viewers across the country all respond with the same finger-down-throat “I’m going to be sick” gesture. Russians also have a very skeptical outlook on what is said by politicians independently from the way they speak, as people have been cheated a lot. Traditionally Russian public figures give clever interviews, but their body language leaves a lot to desire, especially, when compared with American politicians who know exactly what to do with their hands, feet and the rest of the body to look and sound convincing and believable.