Women who have had many sexual relations often come to my seminars. Inside myself I feel tears coming: “Why are they destroying themselves as women so recklessly, rushing to become aged, their faces covered with wrinkles of mature disappointments, and to lose their innocent and carefree beauty?” The self-destruction programme begins from early on, when a woman recklessly gets rid of her beautiful long hair for a boyish cut and pulls on tight jeans which constrict her stomach.

Why are we women prone to surround ourselves with secrets, stories veiled in mist, and create an aureole of obscurity around ourselves? This is a kind of intuitive protection – to hide behind a thousand doors of your secrets waiting for the only one, the one who is worthy to walk through each of them up to the very last one…

***

Jonny was the first man I trusted and could give myself up to completely. I allowed my egg cell to open up and let in his masculine particle inside it. Fusion, an explosion, fireworks! At that second I was the most relaxed woman in the world.

On the outside everything was as it always was; the sun, sea, beach, the regularity of summer weather during Egypt’s winter. But from that minute a new galaxy began to develop inside of me, a spiral of vitality unwinding at breakneck speed, a budding flower of love opening up its petals.

A day before conception a no less noteworthy event took place; we ascended Moses’ holy mountain – Sinai.

***

It was twilight when our journey to the summit began. We were going to meet the sunrise to be wedded and have our union blessed by Ra, the Sun himself. Some Bedouins met us at the foot of the mountain offering to sell us warm clothes. We bought some and let them keep the change to gain favour with the local spirits. It was our gift to that place in the form of money.

We made our way into the centre of the night’s eye. Nothing but rocks around us and a serpentine path as we went up, up and up. Some people didn’t hold out to the end and stopped to rest in small Bedouin huts. Others were short of breath, had headaches and could feel their blood pressure rising. This powerful place cleansed everyone who was in need of it. The local camels moved in a very relaxed manner as if they were floating on air and felt no strain from the ascent or loads on their backs.

With each metre the air became colder and the wind stronger. About half-way into our climb Jonny went a bit further ahead and I was left alone with the Wind. It felt as if it had been tracking me for a long time and had finally chosen this moment to reveal itself. My old lover had come back, as they sometimes do to get nourishment from us, test our resilience and see to what extent we’ve freed ourselves from them. And if we give in they take our female power.

The Wind wanted me to show it my vitality. It roared so strongly that I felt that I would fall off the mountain edge any second. I noticed that the energy of primal fear had awakened from deep inside my belly. And there, a metre away from me, a huge boulder caught my eye with a small hollow of safety in its centre. I squeezed myself into it with such force that I almost managed to get my whole body inside it. At that moment the stone seemed like plasticine to me, which I could use as a duvet to cover myself with. I pressed my whole body into it so as not to be carried away by the Wind.

Before this I had thought that I was tired from the long ascent, but nothing could be further from the truth; we have so many resources hidden inside ourselves which we are not even aware of until we are faced with a situation like this. The Replege movements which I was taught by my mentors came to the ancients this way i.e. when they clearly felt their vitality and began to move in a specific manner. This is why the exercises activate our inner potential and make us feel the intensity of life.