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The first time my daughter pushed me away was at 11 months when I was trying to calm her down. I hugged her to my breast and she gave me a push with her little hand, as if she wanted to get up and go somewhere else. At that second I felt a feeling impossible to describe. I suddenly understood that she had grown up somewhat and wanted to be more independent… I saw that the world was calling her mercilessly. A great deal of curiosity and the desire for adventure were awaking inside her. Only sometimes after bathing time would she suddenly recall the lost state of absolute comfort – of being in her mother’s womb

When children grow up parents often bring them to account: “I carried you in my womb, fed you, cared for you, and now you owe me!” Let the situation go. A child doesn’t owe you anything. Right at this moment he is giving you an indescribable experience. Being inside a woman, he is already transforming, and cleansing his parents whether they want it or not. A baby gives such invaluable lessons in life which we can already feel eternally grateful for.

We are witnesses to the realization of a new life. We have been given a unique opportunity to observe this process, this history which is being created right before our eyes. The first step, the first sound uttered, are all unbelievable moments in a child’s growth and development. What could be more wonderful?

First place in life

During a seminar for women we were told that women often put their children or husband in first place, conferring large-scale hopes and expectations on them. How deep is the disappointment when things suddenly don’t turn out as expected?

What are we to do? If you need to lay everything out in order then put the Supreme, the Spirit, your spiritual task on this Earth, yourself first and only then the rest: family, husband, children, your work, favourite hobby and so on. Children grow up and go their own way, creating their own families. They choose where they want to go next. We are left one on one with ourselves with the same path stretching out before us; the path which we started our journey from with a huge forest of hopes, possibilities, meetings, experiences and fulfilled or unfulfilled ambitions…

Now l will begin to walk you through pregnancy week by week.

Week 1

At some point everything changed. Irrevocably and on a massive scale the changes took place inside me. Masks fell apart, other people’s dreams and expectations vanished – everything that had been put upon me but was not mine simply fell away… Juan said that people didn’t change and if they did, it was in extremely rare situations connected to powerful or overwhelming events. That was my case. I changed forever… I felt naked before the boundless universe. I had been cleansed…

A second heart began beating inside of me…

I desired to conceive from my beloved man with all my heart. Every day we stated our intent and put all our energy of love into creating a new being. We visualized our baby together.

Parents’ visualizations

What joy it is to see children’s toys strewn around the rooms of your house! The heart leaps from the inexplicable joy that a child has come into your house, and that that child is your dear little one, your own flesh and blood. A child is a sun, which lights up the whole house with her light. A child is pure, playful, light energy which flits in the air energizing the space and people around him.

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When I became pregnant I would often close my eyes, stroke my stomach and imagine what my child would look like. What little feet, hands, eyes and hair it would have. When parents are pregnant, they are rich with imagination about what kind of child will be born. Will it be a boy or girl? What eye colour and facial features will he or she have, who will she or he be similar to and so on.