She also told us that when an Arab businessman shook hands on a deal you could take it to the bank. That turned out to be a right load of bollocks.

As the event was funded under the auspices of the DTI we were basically told our itinerary for the trip in advance, including which flights and accommodation had been reserved for us.

Our departure date came around at last and my father and I assembled at Manchester airport to catch the shuttle flight to Heathrow along with a team from the Chamber of Commerce and representatives of the other three local companies also exhibiting.

At Heathrow we changed onto an Emirates flight which would take us directly to Dubai. Emirates airlines – what a brilliant company! Loads of legroom on the plane, a choice of meals – all of them actually edible and actually matching their descriptions! They showed some recent blockbuster movies, which I hadn’t got round to seeing at the cinema, and there seemed to be a gorgeous friendly stewardess for every couple of passengers. The service was excellent.

You know those adverts on TV where the busy corporate executive gets on the plane, relaxes in his spacious comfortable seat with the flat screen TV on the seatback facing him, eats a sumptuous meal, and then does a load of work on his laptop (OK. Plays the latest edition of the SIMMs) until he falls asleep. Awakes to a smiling lady serving fresh brewed coffee offering a choice of breakfast. Then he gets off the plane and goes to his high-powered business meeting fresh as a daisy. You know the adverts I am talking about?

Well that is Emirates Airlines even in economy class. Honestly they are brilliant!

With the time difference it was quite late and dark when we arrived at Dubai International airport. There was little fuss getting our bags and us through customs and immigration control. The hotel had sent a courtesy bus to collect us and we soon found ourselves checking in at the Hotel Forte Grand Dubai.

Our party was greeted on arrival by porters dressed in Indian Mogul style white uniforms topped with red turbans. I checked in and followed a porter to my room. The room had every modern convenience you could wish for. A complimentary bottle of red wine and a bowl of fruit stood on the bedside cabinet alongside a welcome note from the hotel management. I lounged in a steaming hot bath for a while, and then helped myself to some bananas washed down with half the bottle of red wine, stretched out on the crisp white sheets of the king sized bed and crashed out. I could get used to this with a bit of effort, I thought before I passed out.

As I said the DTI wanted to keep all the exhibitors together so we had no choice in our hotel accommodation, otherwise we would have chosen someplace a little less ostentatious, shall we say, and a lot cheaper.

Now don’t get me wrong the hotel was wonderful, but you know why it is called the Forte Grand? Because that is roughly how much full English breakfast would cost a family of four – about forty grand. Pounds Sterling my friends. No joke. Let me tell you how I discovered this distressing fact.

My alarm failed to stir me when it rang at eight AM. I woke up late in the morning after a restful sleep. Having missed breakfast I ate some pineapple from the fruit bowl, made myself look presentable and wondered off in search of my father. I found him in the reception area chatting with two other members of our group. They hadn’t been up long either. Funny how taxing on the system sitting in seats and being transported around can actually be.