Shortly after we came back home from our trip, you invited me to your birthday party. I was over the moon with happiness. The party was loud and crowded, but I only noticed it when you briefly left my side. For the most part, I felt pretty comfortable. My heart beat like crazy whenever you held my hand and pulled me close. When I buried my face in your shoulder, unable to speak, you always found the right words to make those awkward moments more bearable and with time even enjoyable.

School suddenly turned into a game of Us VS the Schedule with us trying to meet each other whenever and wherever possible, even though we spent most of the time in different buildings. I was walking on air, singing to myself, easily coping with the most challenging tasks and tests, always smiling and feeling warm inside; it was truly the greatest winter of my school life.

One day, you promised to meet me after classes. It made me really happy since it didn’t happen too often. As we walked toward the bus stop, you said you didn’t want to give me false hopes anymore because you believed I was too good for you… It was surprising, considering you were never a typical “bad boy”; quite the contrary, you were very kind and had gentle and suave manners that were quite exceptional for our age. I guess the look of disbelief and total confusion on my face made you take my bus and ride with me for a while to make sure I was okay. You asked me over and over if I was going to get home on my own, and when I actually spoke instead of just nodding, you said casually, “See you at school!” and got off.

I don’t really remember the rest of my journey home but I remember clearly walking up the stairs to my apartment, realizing that it hadn’t been a dream and that we were really done. In that moment I had to pause on a step because this thought hit me right in the heart. The pain was tangible, as if some string had abruptly snapped in it. That’s how I learned what it feels like to be heartbroken… I’m glad it first happened the way it did, though. Even if the reason might not have been entirely what you told me, you were tactful and discerning enough to have mercy on me and choose the words you did, so that my self-esteem wouldn’t wobble and fall apart.

That final spring stretch of the year was pure torture. Noticing you in the halls and not being able to come up to you, hug you, and talk made me lose my sleep, appetite, and cheerfulness. At some point, seeing how bad I was, you lent me your watch, which was huge and too loose on my wrist but which I still loved, on the condition that when I gave it back, I would consider it was really over between us and move on. I wore it every day and felt better. Indeed, when you asked for it back after a while, I returned it with a heavy heart but I was more prepared to accept that we were no longer together.

By the end of the school year, I had resolved to have as much fun with my friends at the graduation party as possible. We all dressed up and had our hair done really beautifully for the prom, where we took lots of photos and danced the night away. However, the single best part of the evening, etched into my memory as one of the brightest and purest moments of joy in this lifetime, was when I suddenly felt your strong arms envelop me on the dance floor. It was so sweet and intense that my whole body still remembered the warmth of being in your arms and dancing together a good few years later. Truly, it is the best gift I have ever received from you.