How can you teach a first-grade girl to understand which boy is next to her? Just ask her why she chose him over the others. Her answers will show exactly the reasons, and if she doesn't know why, then you need to ask the simplest leading questions and teach her to identify the reasons that attracted her to him, to friendship with him. Then you need to pitch upon each argument and reason. The next stage is the friend’s actions: whether he cares about one particular girl, whether he shows affection. Is he at least constant in his choice? Or he is a good friend of all girls in the group? Does not he offend girls or even beat? Is he interested in something? How does he speak to his parents? Is he obedient? Is he rude? Is he ready to give the last candy you?

Then you should teach your children how to juxtapose actions and words, so that the child could see the roots of selfishness, stupidity, greed, pride, and other points of weakness. On this thread of juxtaposition, bright and attractive beads will be made of kindness, responsiveness, dedication and other attractive aspects of human manifestation. Having formed in the child’s mind the habit of thinking and contemplating, looking into the roots of actions, reaching for those who will not betray, who are ready to live for the sake of another, the transition phase into adulthood will not be so "terrible".

I am convinced that most if not all of my readers are ready to challenge these statements, replace them with their own, expand the list or argue with the accuracy of the wording. For example, is it possible to calculate these risks? Is it possible to fully understand the person who is in front of you in the rose and candy stage? Who by the age of 18 is ready to listen to this and openly talk about it? People of age can say: "Remember yourself, did you listen to someone in your 18–20 years? And anyway, you don't need to teach me, I will figure it out myself!"

Here is one of these answers:

"This begs the question: why did you decide that you are smarter than anyone and that you can teach someone? Everyone has their own life and their own mistakes, and perhaps only after going through them, a person will understand the most important thing and what he needs."

Firstly, I will answer the last question – about 18–20 years. I didn't listen to anyone in my 18-s, because there was no one around who could tell me some useful information. There was nobody whom I could listen to, to whom I could openly talk about my ideas, how and whom to choose, which of the girls is more interesting to me and why I like her… We will get answers to the other questions in the future chapters through examples and descriptions. But the best way is when the reader will notice the logic himself or herself and will be able to foresee possible scenarios for development.

So, are you ready for family life today? You think so? In most cases – this is not the right answer, especially if you are not 30 yet, and you have not had to reason like this. Why?

Now please try to read carefully paragraph after paragraph and learn a new kind of art – the art of foreseeing your perspective in 5, 10 or more years in a relationship with the person you are in love now. Is this at least important or even possible? I am sure that the answer is YES. This way of thinking – like who is he, why does he do it, and how is he going to change his thoughts, actions, his behavior in the relationship with me over time – is not developed anywhere. Nobody told us about such things, we did not hear such examples. Sometimes we did not hear about it so often that we can think for ourselves.