My mom hollered at Agnes. She thought that the youngest one had eaten bread. Agnes was crying and mom started beating her. She didn’t have rules. She hit her in the same way as me. Mia is a genuine misogynist. Brothers were loved and taken care of whereas my sister and I were constantly abused in any possible way.

I was still a human being and I didn’t want to end up like my parents so I decided to plead guilty. But damn, I am the only one who works and I can’t get food. I’m not guilty. But she didn’t think so.

I quickly entered the kitchen and told everything. I even tried to assure her that I earn money and that I can eat what I want in this house. It would have been so much better if I just had shut my mouth and accepted that it’s my fault.

“Mom. I’m the only one who brings money home. I didn’t eat for a couple of days and it was just a small piece of bread. One small bite.”, it’s everything I said.

“I’m going to work and there’s nothing to eat.”, she said really quietly. I was impressed.

Maybe it’s the end of our constant brawls and clashes. Spoiler: it wasn’t.

“I was supposed to buy groceries but I passed out for nine hours and woke up at midnight.”, I said super calmly in order to not provoke her.

She was provoked by those words.

“So that I’m the bad guy here, right?”

“No, I didn-”

“You freaking piece of garbage. I raised you, feed you, didn’t sleep–”

“And beat me every single day! When was the last time you said something good to me? You never raised me! I’ve been working since I was nine–”

She didn’t listen to me until the end. She lunged at me, started choking. Mia was stronger than me as well as taller. I couldn’t compete with her at all. I was just really and genuinely hoping that she would choke me to the death. Although I didn’t wanna die like that, not to mention that it’s a lot of suffering, it was better than keep living with them. But this bitch did not want me to die. Who’s then going to take care of all of them? So she almost choked me not the point when I die but to the point when I pass out. I learned that passing out is the best way to escape. I did it a lot. And learned how to do this. But be careful because if you live in a toxic household, after passing out you probably will end up in weird places as well as me.

I woke up tied to the radiator. She freaking tied me with handcuffs to the radiator. And honestly, the most disgusting thing was that she had sex in those handcuffs. Bruh. In retrospect, it was funny though. But at that moment I realized that no one was home, I was unconscious for just an hour, and I’m late for work. It’s the last thing that I wanted. I was so freaking afraid that I’m gonna lose my job that I started crying and screaming. It lasted for four to five minutes. Then I realized that It didn’t help me. I was 20 minutes late which is a lot but at the same time it wasn’t enormously late, so maybe I wouldn’t lose my job.

Lucky me, I know how to unlock locks without a key. I actually even know morse code. When you are growing up in a toxic household, you learn everything that can help you to survive. But also it is cool to show off for a bit around your classmates. I always told them that my dad taught me that. Everyone's dad taught someone something. And I didn’t want to be an exception.

And one more piece of advice for you, always bear with yourself a hairpin. I had it. Without it, I dare to guess, I would die tied up to the radiator because I know that nobody in my family would have helped me. They were all in alliance with my mom. I even thought that I should not have exposed myself and let my sister be punished. But I’m not like them. I can’t let an innocent person be punished for my misdemeanor, albeit it was really tempting.