Everything was smooth in my studies: having met the tutors, I found strong support, and I was interested in doing their assignments. I enjoyed studying. I even enrolled in a theology class, but it didn't go any further than that. I was offered to join a sports team, but I wasn't ready for that, and I couldn't risk people's lives: the first time I played squash with Ellie, I almost broke her nose because I hit the ball so hard, and when Mary and I played badminton in the park, she kept complaining that I hit it too far, like a man. But I couldn't do it any other way: I didn't know how to control my physical strength.
It was a bright, sunny, almost cloudless day, and Mary and I went to the park to feed the swans swimming in the Thames, taking a large blanket with us to bask in the sun. After feeding the swans, we went out to the middle of the lawn, spread out the blanket, lay on it, and looked up at the sky, squinting at the sunlight. I had never felt so good as I did now: I was lying in the sun, next to my friend, we were silent and just enjoying this moment. I wanted so badly to feel the warmth of the sun and bask under it, but I could only watch it shining high in the sky. I was sad at the thought that in twenty years I would have to hide from the sweet sun, and that I would never be able to lay like that again and look at it.
«Will it really be like this? Will I turn into a monster like my mom and sisters?» – I thought wistfully.
But it was all so far away and unreal that I just couldn't believe that the day would come when I would hate the sun and it would hate me.
– Sometimes I think you're not of this world, that you're not human» Mary said suddenly.
I opened my eyes and sat up, surprised by her words.
«Does she really know that I'm a vampire?» – I thought with horror, but I smiled falsely and asked cheerfully: – Why do you think that?
Mary sat up too.
– You seem to glow from within: you are beautiful not only outwardly, but you also have a beautiful soul. I don't know how to talk about these things: I need to use metaphors, and I'm not good with them» she said, looking at me. – I knew from the first time I saw you that you were a good person. Period.
I hesitated, not knowing how to respond to her statement, and not knowing what to say to her.
It is very difficult to find words when you are undeservedly praised: such praise is disconcerting.
I couldn't find the words. I didn't say a word.
– Well? Have you thought about it? – Mary asked.
– About what? – I didn't understand.
– About the haircut.
I smiled involuntarily: she'd remembered little things I'd never even considered.
– No, I hadn't. I never cut my hair.
– It's a shame, of course, but on the other hand, it's just fine.
The contradiction in Mary's words amused me.
– How so? – I grinned. – I don't know what you mean!
– I love doing hairstyles and learning to do new ones, so if you don't want to cut your hair, you can be my guinea pig. There's a reason you grew that ponytail» she said.
– That's great! Why didn't you tell me this before? You have no idea how tired I am of ponytails and knots on the back of my head! – I exclaimed. – Well, go ahead, show your skills.
– Right now?
– Are you afraid?
– No way! Release your horrible ponytail!
I pulled the rubber band off my hair, and it fell down my back.
– Well, you're in trouble! – Mary said seriously, sitting down behind me and combing my hair with her fingers. – If it hurts, feel free to scream.
– Okay. – Thankfully, I didn't feel any pain.
I was a perfect mannequin, but it felt good to know that Mary saw more than just my appearance. Mary was a magician who saw things that other people didn't. And I had never thought of myself as having a beautiful soul.