– What are you smiling at? – Maria asked in surprise.

I woke up from my thoughts.

– I'm just glad that I'm finally going to be free. I guess your parents didn't treat you the way they treat me. You know, you tell me about your life there, and I see it all before my eyes» I explained. – But I need you to tell me how, where, and when to kill.

– Oh, that goes without saying. So just sit there and memorise. It's better to mark everything on the map, though.

I ran to my room and came back to my sister with a map of Oxford.

– Well, let's get started! Give me a pencil» Maria said.

We sat down on the bed and my sister began her instruction, which I didn't understand or even remember at all.

The next day Maria flew away, leaving me a list of advice handwritten in her beautiful calligraphic handwriting. Rereading it, I involuntarily laughed at the stupidest and banal, but so ridiculous situations described. For example: «If a pigeon shits on you, don't get angry and don't show your displeasure with words, gestures or facial expressions, otherwise everyone will think that you hate pigeons and birds in general. To avoid such a fate, always carry a spare robe with you.» Or: «If you get hit by a cyclist, don't get up from the pavement at once, but pretend to hit something (preferably your hand), then scold him a little, but don't overdo it, get up and with a disgruntled face leave, accepting his sincere (and not so sincere) apologies». But that was just the flowers untill I got to the point of how to behave in the ladies' toilet, I just couldn't stop laughing: «Never, under any circumstances, slam the doors, otherwise, the cleaning lady Mrs. Rees will have a heart attack. Always close doors gently, calmly, like a lady, even if you're being chased by a maniac with a huge knife.»

«Thank you, Maria, I shall remember your advice. Mrs. Rees mustn't get hurt!» – I thought, turning the sheet over to read the other side of it as well:

Now seriously. Never (ever!) break these rules:

1. Eat strictly on schedule.

2. Don't use your abilities on mortals, even in self-defence. They can't do anything to you anyway.

3. Always turn off the lights at night, otherwise, the neighbours will realise that you never sleep at all.

4. Cut off any attempts at contact by mortals. Communicate with them only as a last resort.

5. No flirting with mortal guys.

6. Act like a human, but don't forget who you are.

7. Suppress your feelings of pity for mortals.

8. Do not eat human food.

9. Never interact with Frederik Haraldson. Never.

10. Never break these rules under any circumstances.

I thoughtfully folded the sheet in half and started thinking about all these rules. So: no socialising with humans or Frederik, no eating human food (although I wasn't going to – it's so gross), no disrupting the meal schedule, no drawing attention to my person. Not such complicated rules.

When I remembered that Maria had rented a flat for me, I glanced at the address and smiled broadly: my sister had assured me that the owners of the flat were very intelligent mortals who never disturbed the tenant's peace, which would be great for me, a vampire.

Now all I had to do was pack my bags and wait for my scheduled departure date from Warsaw to London. Martin had nobly volunteered to take me straight to the door of my flat in Oxford, but I talked him out of it, so that I would feel grown up and not look stupid in the eyes of my possible college mates. So I personally booked a ticket on a regular flight so I wouldn't have to fly on our private jet. I had already looked up how to get from London airport to Oxford and eagerly scribbled down the numbers on my calendar.