– Тебе плохо, потому что ты видишь. Но Бог тебя любит – у тебя золотой венец над головой. Здесь недалеко, в лесу, есть часовня. Сядешь на троллейбус, проедешь две остановки. Сегодня родительская суббота. Поставь две свечи за упокой своих родителей. Ты должна сберечь себя для Света.
Сказав это, монахиня растворилась в толпе.
Я не знала, что в лесу есть часовня. Но я знала, что в лесу есть маньяк. На протяжении уже нескольких лет он убивал тех, кто, видимо, искал в лесу часовню. «Интересно, а был ли кто-то, кто искал маньяка, который искал тех, кто искал часовню?» – подумала я, но почему-то послушно проехала две остановки на троллейбусе, вышла на улицу и стала спрашивать редких прохожих, не знают ли они, как найти часовню в лесу. Было очень темно. Падал снег. Прохожие шарахались от меня, будто я спрашивала, как найти нужную мне книгу в Библиотеке Вселенной. В лес вело несколько тропинок. Я пошла по одной из них. Темно. Снег. Тишина. Никого вокруг. Глухой лес. Я шла долго. Очень долго. И мне уже стало казаться, что та монахиня – всего лишь плод моего воображения, как вдруг где-то вдали замерцал Свет.
Prologue
«You are one of us, I recognized you right away, even at the airport, when you met me with the delegation,» Maria, an Italian woman, said in a whisper.
«What do you mean one of us?» I asked.
«You are a clairvoyant. You communicate with the Other World. You have the key. From the Door…»
My officemate at my first job didn’t yet know what «idealizations» and the Space of Options were, but due to certain problems, she went to a clairvoyant, taking with her the maximum number of photos of all her loved ones and not so, in order to understand who was who. The next morning, I waited with interest for the story about the results of her campaign.
Marina gave me a strange look, closed the door to the room and said solemnly,
«You have a pillar!»
I remained silent, waiting for the continuation.
«The clairvoyant looked through the photos, said that you are not tall at all, but very tall, because you have some kind of pillar… of energy or something else, coming out from your head, sorry, I don’t remember exactly, but she sees it!» Marina said in a conspiratorial tone, looking for something above my head, but obviously to no avail.
«I see, the stone flower doesn’t come out,» I said.
«Oh, if I were a clairvoyant!!! I would be the happiest person in the world! I would SEE everything!!!»
I remained silent. I don’t like arguing with people.
Many years ago I came to Malta. That day an excursion was planned somewhere. I walked down the hotel stairs. The Russian group had already gathered in the hall around one of our tourists, who was talking very loudly. Suddenly a woman noticed me and shouted, «Do you see? Look, look at her!» Everyone followed her advice, but I got afraid that something was wrong with me. I examined myself from head to toe, and everything in my appearance seemed to be human: body, dress, shoes, bag… I approached the group and was about to ask what her scream meant, when the woman took my hand and, meaningfully looking at those around, said, «Don’t you see? There’s a glow above her head!»
Next was Rome. They told me that I was going to the Shareholders’ Meeting. Before, I didn’t know what it was – the Meeting of Shareholders. It turns out that this is when people start drinking heavily already at the airport of their hometown A, an hour before the plane departs for city B, and stop drinking on the way back at the same airport in their city A after the plane lands from city B.