Once I came to a widely advertised center at a very cool hospital, in which, judging by what was written about it everywhere, even a fairy tale would become reality. I just came. It was impossible to get through by phone, no one had answered any of the numbers listed on the website and in other advertising sources for several weeks.

Having found with difficulty the doctor’s office for those who came without a referral, that is, for those who paid their own and quite a lot of money for a consultation, I got in line and patiently sat at the door for several hours, reading a smart book so as not to waste time. When I finally entered the office, the doctor first asked if I had an appointment with her. I asked how that could be done. The doctor silently handed me over a business card with the same phone numbers no one had answered. I said that I knew them by heart, but, unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to get through for several weeks. The doctor, in a completely calm voice, looking into my eyes, answered,

«Right, and you won’t be able to. They have been out of business for a month now.»

Deathly silence reigned. I asked if there was another way to make an appointment. The doctor answered categorically, «No!» And again silence. Despite the fact that I had spent several hours in line, I was only the third and last person who wanted to get a paid consultation at their unique center that day. Somehow I didn’t want to leave there without paying anyone anything, so I just asked to listen to me, promising to pay a little more than the official price of the issue. The doctor thought for a long time and…

…didn’t agree, apparently preferring to speak at someone else’s expense rather than listen, but kindly offered to go to another hospital department and ask someone else to listen to me.

I am a stubborn creature. An old nurse in another department couldn’t figure out for a long time neither what I wanted from her, nor how I ended up there.

«I read on a website on the Internet that…»

«Where did you read it?»

The old woman didn’t know what the «Internet» was, but that word had a magical effect on her, as a result, she dematerialized, immediately leaving her post. I was about to turn around and leave, when a man of about forty-five dressed in white appeared at the end of the corridor. As it turned out later, he was the head of the department. He came up to me and broke into a smile,

«Oh, one more Leila arrived! Why did you come, eh, Leila?»

«I’ve read that it’s a center where you practically work miracles…»

«Leila, how old are you? And you still believe in miracles!» the Doctor said with a grin in a flirting tone, but I didn’t know what to answer, so he continued, «Leila, what hurts you?»

«Nothing…»

«If nothing hurts, why did you come?»

«To ask. You specialize in Woozles and Wizzles, providing consultations for payment, right? So I came to ask. Where do they come from? What to do with them? Maybe some pills should be taken or, conversely, not. In general, what’s allowed, what’s not?»

«Oh, Leila, God knows why one has some Woozles or Wizzles, what’s allowed and what’s not! Live as you lived. Nothing hurts you. What for?»

«But then it will be too late!»

«Then you will be welcomed here!»

«Don’t you cure everyone here?»

«We?» the Doctor asked in surprise. «Do we cure? You know, Leila, I’ll tell you so, as soon as you get rid of some Woozle, some Wizzle will immediately appear! Exactly! Nothing hurts you! Tell me, why did you come, huh?»

«But it’s written…»

«Leila, are you married?» the Doctor didn’t let up.