“I’m sorry,” I whispered without sound; the Gorgon commander just nodded.

“For what? Let me tell you this: our past – the pain of what has happened, our memories, torment, and regrets – either makes us stronger or kills us. And there’s a very thin line between them, Stephanie, on which you cannot balance,” he leaned slightly towards me. “Don’t let yourself fall on the wrong side.”

I wanted to burst into tears. But I swallowed them and nodded. Then, I tried to put a calm expression on my face. For a split second, I believed it.

“What time is it? And… when will we be leaving?”

Robert glanced at his large wristwatch. It was around one in the afternoon. He explained that about an hour ago, a large group of people from the neighboring building had tried to break through to the cars and had attracted the attention of the infected. Shouts and gunfire had echoed throughout the area; I was surprised that I hadn’t heard anything, even when the Gorgons had exploded out of the neighboring room and then returned to sleep. Regarding the second question, Sbort thought it would be foolish to go outside anytime soon. The loud noise attracted the infected, and there could be even more of them; it was better to wait a bit and then go quickly and quietly to the Gorgon vehicle parking lot. Robert wasn’t willing to take that risk yet. Plus, the rain had only intensified, now reminding him, as he said, of the Western downpours.

Then the door cracked open. Half-asleep, Christopher looked at us, nodded to Robert, and disappeared again.

“He was worried you hadn’t come back yet,” Sbort smiled condescendingly.

“Does he really think I could be a danger?” The commander laughed quietly, scratching his stubble, and I hurried to explain. “Otherwise, I don’t see why someone who reacted so aggressively to our presence would be concerned about us.”

“Chris had a reason to react that way,” Robert frowned regretfully. “You shouldn’t hold it against him.”

“Should I be worried about him? He looks like a two-meter serious threat.”

“You’re exaggerating, Stephanie,” Sbort barely managed to hold back a smile. "Two meters of serious threat? He’s only one eighty-seven,” and I wanted to laugh, but the realization that Robert didn’t deny my concerns made me uneasy. “I can’t deny the obvious, can I? Chris is truly one of… the most effective people in my group,” Robert said evasively. “May Mother spare you from seeing him in true anger, but he isn’t the type to hurt someone on a whim, and I’m certain you have nothing to fear from him,” he paused for a moment. “Besides, let’s be honest. Lewis is emotional, undoubtedly, but he isn’t more aggressive toward you than Sam is toward us.”

Insightful.

“Sam has his reasons for reacting that way,” I said after a moment. “He’s always been a very peaceful and kind guy, negative toward violence in any form,” I hesitated for a second longer, wondering whether to explain Dort's reaction to Robert; he continued to wait patiently and attentively for me to speak. “When his younger brother wanted to pursue a military career, Sam tried to make him reconsider, begged our parents to influence the younger son’s decision. I don’t condone Sam’s actions, but I can’t blame him either,” I took a deeper breath. “Their parents supported the younger one and were immensely proud of him. He got a college degree, went to serve in the navy. And a year later, his body was brought back to our hometown in a black casket, “Robert exhaled sharply through his nose. “Their parents were inconsolable, Sam cried his heart out… He hasn’t spoken to them since, Robert, he blames them for his brother’s death. Sam has been even more opposed to the army and military matters ever since. And he was already negative about it before,” I paused, thinking over what I’d just said and recalling Sam holding a pacifist flag at one of the demonstrations. “To me, he made a terrible mistake cutting off communication with his family. And blaming the soldiers for what happened…” I left the sentence unfinished, shaking my head. “Life is damn unfair. Sometimes, the ones who deserve happiness, health, and a long life the most, suffer the most and die young,” my voice cracked, and my eyes filled with tears. I quickly looked down at my hands, which felt foreign to me. For a brief moment, I no longer felt like myself; for an instant, I stopped perceiving the world around me.